Homeschooling as a single, full-time working mom.

Life is definitely not easy but you have to make the most of it and do the best you can with what you have.  Being single has challenges, being a mother has challenges, homeschooling has challenges, and working full-time and various part-time jobs absolutely have challenges.  So how on earth do you meet all of those challenges simultaneously?  I have touched on this topic before and had overwhelming responses via email so I wanted to add on another layer.  This is also on my new blog as well, I just wanted to make sure the few of you that emailed me had a chance to see this.

First, deep breath and believe in yourself!  You can do it, your kids will appreciate you and be forever grateful that they had the opportunities that you are providing, and they will carry this with them.

Sacrifices:  In this situation (especially if you are also providing all of the financial resources which sucks and is not fair and the majority of the parenting time) you have to make sacrifices.  You have to be very cautious with your money because what other option do you have?  You can't just sit around waiting for someone else to step up and do the right thing because you are.  At this point, you have to make things happen on your own.  Being a single mom is the hardest thing I have ever done but I would not trade it for anything else in the world.  I will provide for my girls no matter what!
~Cut back on anything you can live without.
~Use everything you have.
~Get rid of anything you have not used in at least one year.
~Learn to love leftovers.
~Learn to cook so there are leftovers.
~Turn off anything electrical that you are not using.
~Use more fans than AC especially when it just starts to get hot outside.

There are so many ways you can cut back, you just have to learn to use those ideas in your daily life.  There will be times when you open the refrigerator and all you see are a few moldy strawberries and the light but this will eventually even out as well.  Do not let empty pantry closets cause you anxiety.  You will find a way to feed your kiddos no matter what, you have to.  This situation can also temporarily dampen your social life when you are striving to find a balance and get a household up and running as the head of the house with all of the responsibilities and financial obligations.  There is always time for venturing out into the world of adults but the kids come first especially in the beginning of any new transitions.  They have to know they are number one in your life.  I do not believe in making promises because you never know what can happen once you have made a promise but I do promise this, you will not regret putting your kids first, you will not!

Balance:  Try to put yourself first at least once a week.  You have to learn to balance everything and pace yourself.  This one is hard, especially for the Type A personalities.  There will be so, so many days that you feel like quitting but you can't!  Your kids are depending on you.  If you quit, it sends them the wrong message.  You have to stay focused and be as positive as you can and sometimes, that is extremely difficult!  You will be over-scheduled, sleep-deprived, you may over-eat, you may forget to eat, you may even forget to brush your hair but life is not going to stop for any of that.  You have to define clear goals for day-to-day, week-to-week, month-to-month, and year-to-year and stick with them as much as you possibly can.  There is a learning curve with taking on all of these duties just like with anything else you do.  And a very special note to you new homeschoolers, please, please, please take your time.  Don't over do it, you will burn out faster than you realize.

This is a time in your life that you will realize so much about yourself.  Things you had no idea you were capable and how strong you really are considering that the future of your children rests in your hands.  This is huge!  The biggest responsibility that you will ever have, and you only get one chance.  Make it count, the future of your children depend on it.

Keep everything in balance by having a place for everything and a schedule really is beneficial, it does not have to be strict but usually kids thrive when there is predictability, and they know what to expect so if math needs to happen every day at 11:00 a.m. whether they love it or not, you need to strive to do just that.  There is a certain amount of comfort in a schedule even for those who are not really schedule people.  Another important issue is watch what you eat.  No one needs to eat sugary snacks and desserts every day.  Watch your salt intake.  Eat a vegetable-rich diet and start your day with protein, it does not have to be meat as there are so many delicious foods you can swap out for meat that are better for you.

If you work at home, keep only your work items there, not four barbies, Cheez-Its, cat toys, and a milkshake cup from last Thursday.  Get rid of it!  Clutter will stress you out as easily as anything else will.

Make sure all school supplies and materials are in one area that are easily accessible.

Also to maintain harmony, you have to embrace your time with your kids.  Go for walks, look at stars at night, bird watch, have movie nights, dance and sing along with Michael Jackson for an hour, whatever!  These are the things they will remember even if you can't dance or sing.  Spend time with your kids before they get too "teenagery" and do their teenager things.

Working: Working at home can present challenges just the same as working outside of the home but it is all work, it takes time, you have to organize it all to get it done so that you can get paid.  Get creative!  If  you work at home, try to have your area organized so that you enjoy being there.  I admit I would prefer not to sit in my chair at my desk for at least 40 hours a week and on the weekends but I am very grateful that I can do my job from home especially since my girls are home.  I also admit, I do feel guilty when I have to sit and work for extended periods of time but they are both teenagers, and they can do pretty much anything and everything on their own, this is a blessing.  If they were toddlers, I know I would have pulled all of my hair out by now if that were the case.

Priorities: What are yours?  What is the most important thing for you?  You have to define this and live it.  My priorities are first my girls, then my job, then homeschooling since that can be done at any time during the day or night and on the weekends when necessary especially since there are 365 days in a year, and we are required to do 4 hours for 180 days, no problems there.  After that, what matters?  Will you die if dishes are left in the sink overnight?  If you are simulating volcanoes in your kitchen and clean it up the next day what will happen?  I am pretty sure no one has every died from dirty clothes being on the floor so even though everyone would prefer to have an awesomely clean house and a home-cooked meal every night, it is most likely not going to happen, not with me at least but I do make up for it in a million different ways so I can live with a little dust and an unswept floor for at least a few days, gasp!  I do not want my girls to just remember me as the maid and the money-maker, I want them to remember blowing up stuff in the kitchen, dissecting animals for science, and going for walks.

The majority of these things should be pretty obvious but sometimes it just helps to read it from another person's perspective.  I learn so much from reading other blogs, and I want to pass along any useful information I can discover and offer ideas and alternatives to making things work in rough times.  When you are wearing more than five hats at a time, you have to learn how to wear them all in harmony.  Being a single, full-time working, part-time working, homeschooling mother of two is at least equivalent to three full-time jobs.  It never ends but there is no way I would trade any of it.  We are all learning so much, and I am glad that my girls are so tough and are handling everything that is thrown at them like champs.  This will make them strong and independent as they grow older.  They both have a good sense of who they are, what they like and do not like, and what they want to do later in life.  Even in crisis, you cannot enable your kids.  It only makes for messed up adults that cannot function.  Use whatever the crisis was as a teaching tool.  Let them see you being responsible and taking care of what needs to be taken care of.  If you are fine, they will be too!  Working, homeschooling, and being financially responsible for your kids seems impossible to do alone but it is not!  Trust me when I say it can be done!