Monday, November 2, 2015

Ahhh, the joys of parenting on social media.....

I saw a post on Facebook the other day that stopped me in my tracks.

An obvious deadbeat dad was having a pity party for himself and trying to get his little friends to stroke his ego and tell him he is correct in his thoughts about the mother/mothers of his children and how wrong they are in their parenting.  Going on and on about how most fathers do not have anything to do with their child after a divorce, claiming that is not him!  No way, he is father of the year in his mind. And how the mother/mothers should be a good example for their child, and that is just not how it has worked out for him.  He even went so far as to say that if he died, there would be a celebration.  He wanted people to weigh in on if this was childish or not and if this was fair to him.  And then he said thanks to his little friends.

Then all you could hear were the violins playing as everyone rallied around him telling him he is such a loving father (this said by people who have most likely never even seen him around his child), and the special bonds between fathers and daughters (the bond is only formed if the father is around).  Hang in there they said, kids form their own opinions and when they are older, they will hate her.  Then another deadbeat dad or two chimed in.  Another comment stated that the kids know the truth and when they get older they will make up their own minds which I interpret to mean from that person is that the child will think their mother has been wrong but when the child is already older and has had to live down what the deadbeat has done over the years, I would not hold my breath if I were the deadbeat dad.  Here is the kicker, the deadbeat actually said he was starting to think he was wrong, and he does not understand why some women are this way with regards to the child.  WOW!  Poor guy, just can't understand it.

First of all, I am sure said deadbeat dad only filled these little friends in on his diluted version of the truth so they are supporting this deadbeat not knowing the full story, just the sugar-coated version he likes to tell.  It is actually the the truth in his mind, he has to believe his version because otherwise, he would not be able to live with himself.

One comment in particular caught my attention, it was something to the effect of you are not a father, you are a dad?  What?  I assume this person is saying there is a difference between being a father and being a dad which I actually agree with 100%!

So what is my point?

Let me tell you.  A father is someone who has donated DNA so that a human life can be created.  A dad is a man who is an active participant in the life of their child.  A dad will nurture and guide, praise and teach, support financially and emotionally.  A dad will take responsibility for his family.  A dad will always have his child's back and do whatever it takes to ensure the well-being of their child.

A dad would never abandon his child.  A dad would never leave his child in exchange for another.  A dad would never look their child directly in the eyes and lie repeatedly over and over again.  A dad would never neglect their child.  A dad would never cause their child financial hardships.  A dad would never guilt trip their child.  A dad would never use their child for their benefit.  And most importantly, a dad would never have to be ordered by a judge in a court room and threaten with jail time to feed his child, never!  A dad would never do any of those things but a father would do all of these despicable acts and more.  Just because you can create a child, does not mean you should, and if you do, stick around and do what is right by that child.  The child did not ask to be here.  That is my two cents worth!  Good luck deadbeat, try to stay out of jail!

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