Thursday, June 23, 2016

A few tips for a noncustodial parent from a full custody custodial parent....

I know, this is different but as time goes by, I have come to recognize that not all noncustodial parents, usually the dads, are actually deadbeats.

For example, in the apartment complex that we live in, we have made friends with several noncustodial dads and their kiddos.

These dads provide their kids with their own rooms, they have their own personal belongings in the rooms, and they have all kinds of things that would make them feel at home with the parent that do not live with full-time.
These dads are outside hanging out with their kids, taking them places, and doing all sorts of fun activities while their kids visit.

These tips are based on what I have observed and sources very close to home.

1. Do not do the same.exact.thing.every.single.time. your kiddos come for a visit.  Yawn!  That just is no fun at all!
2. Actually show up.  That sounds easy enough.
3. Do not talk about their full-time, hard-working mother.  After all, she is the one that is taking care of them and providing for them without being forced to do so by the court system.  She is there because she loves them.  She is their ROCK!  Don't talk about the ROCK!
4. Do not use them as a line of communication to their mother.  This is a big one, for example, do not text them at 1 a.m. and try to arrange a meeting so that you can drop off a check.  This is so shady and slightly frightening.
5. Do not play favorites, self-explanatory.
6. Do not have them play babysitter for younger kids.
7. Sometimes keep the crazy relatives in the closet until the kids leave.  A bunch of crazies can be overwhelming and frustrating.
8. Listen to them, I mean actually hear what they say.
9. Find out what they actually do and like that way you can take them to do those things and instead of writing a check for their bday, you can actually get them something that took more than a signature to complete.
10. Put them in the position to make friends when they come to visit, for example, one of our single dads has a teen-aged son, and he is awesome.  He always comes to talk to us when he sees us.  Nice kid!

I would think being a noncustodial parent would pretty much suck!  There is no way I would see my kids only 4 days a month.  That is not being a parent.  Kids grow up so fast, before you know it, they will be moving on as they should.  If you want to be part of their lives tomorrow, you have to be part of their lives today................

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