Me when my ex thinks he is going to call the shots....

Me on my way to court...........

~

~

Parenting......

Parenting is not a science and no matter how many books you read on how to be a parent, there is no way to know if you are doing it right or have done it right but there may be clues.  For example, if you have one child (and especially if you have more than one child) in their 40s-to-almost 50s living in your house completely dependent on you. I am thinking you should probably find a mirror and ask Mirror, Mirror, on the Wall, What the Hell Did I do Wrong?  Another clue could be that your oldest child needs you to fill out and deliver his court-ordered child support because it is late, and he does not want to risk getting caught and carted off to jail.  I mean, I'm just saying.  You really are not doing them any favors no matter what you think.  And please don't play the Bipolar card because honestly, aren't we all Bipolar to some degree?  

What is it that Dr. Phil always says about enabling your adult children?  He says basically you are robbing them (the adult children) of the gift of feeling good about themselves by not letting them stand on their own two feet and being able to celebrate their own independence.....You can read the full article here.  It is just pathetic!  Remember enablers of the world, you will not live forever and then what?  They fight over your house and who you leave it to or end up in a state home because they cannot function in "the real world" and then I have to pay for them with my tax dollars.  No thanks!  Please fix them now while there is still time.

Ahhh, the joys of parenting on social media.....

I saw a post on Facebook the other day that stopped me in my tracks.

An obvious deadbeat dad was having a pity party for himself and trying to get his little friends to stroke his ego and tell him he is correct in his thoughts about the mother/mothers of his children and how wrong they are in their parenting.  Going on and on about how most fathers do not have anything to do with their child after a divorce, claiming that is not him!  No way, he is father of the year in his mind. And how the mother/mothers should be a good example for their child, and that is just not how it has worked out for him.  He even went so far as to say that if he died, there would be a celebration.  He wanted people to weigh in on if this was childish or not and if this was fair to him.  And then he said thanks to his little friends.

Then all you could hear were the violins playing as everyone rallied around him telling him he is such a loving father (this said by people who have most likely never even seen him around his child), and the special bonds between fathers and daughters (the bond is only formed if the father is around).  Hang in there they said, kids form their own opinions and when they are older, they will hate her.  Then another deadbeat dad or two chimed in.  Another comment stated that the kids know the truth and when they get older they will make up their own minds which I interpret to mean from that person is that the child will think their mother has been wrong but when the child is already older and has had to live down what the deadbeat has done over the years, I would not hold my breath if I were the deadbeat dad.  Here is the kicker, the deadbeat actually said he was starting to think he was wrong, and he does not understand why some women are this way with regards to the child.  WOW!  Poor guy, just can't understand it.

First of all, I am sure said deadbeat dad only filled these little friends in on his diluted version of the truth so they are supporting this deadbeat not knowing the full story, just the sugar-coated version he likes to tell.  It is actually the the truth in his mind, he has to believe his version because otherwise, he would not be able to live with himself.

One comment in particular caught my attention, it was something to the effect of you are not a father, you are a dad?  What?  I assume this person is saying there is a difference between being a father and being a dad which I actually agree with 100%!

So what is my point?

Let me tell you.  A father is someone who has donated DNA so that a human life can be created.  A dad is a man who is an active participant in the life of their child.  A dad will nurture and guide, praise and teach, support financially and emotionally.  A dad will take responsibility for his family.  A dad will always have his child's back and do whatever it takes to ensure the well-being of their child.

A dad would never abandon his child.  A dad would never leave his child in exchange for another.  A dad would never look their child directly in the eyes and lie repeatedly over and over again.  A dad would never neglect their child.  A dad would never cause their child financial hardships.  A dad would never guilt trip their child.  A dad would never use their child for their benefit.  And most importantly, a dad would never have to be ordered by a judge in a court room and threaten with jail time to feed his child, never!  A dad would never do any of those things but a father would do all of these despicable acts and more.  Just because you can create a child, does not mean you should, and if you do, stick around and do what is right by that child.  The child did not ask to be here.  That is my two cents worth!  Good luck deadbeat, try to stay out of jail!

My thought for the day.......

It makes no difference if your child lives with you or not.  If you are a parent, it is your responsibility to provide for your child no matter what!  Anything less is a punishment to your child for just being born.

Noncustodial parenting..............

The noncustodial parents deadbeats have it easy.

They do not take any responsibility for their children, they show up when it is convenient for them to do so, they bribe the kids with things, they don't pay child support as ordered and yet they harass and criticize the custodial parent who does/provides everything relentlessly.

In the end, they are really missing out on everything, and they have no one to blame but themselves.

The kids are not worried because they trust their custodial parent to make sure they have the basics.  The bond between a custodial parent and the kids is completely different than that of the deadbeat!

What is up with the deadbeat dads?

You might be are definitely a deadbeat dad if you quit your job (and neglect to tell your lawyer you did or anyone else that you did so) to avoid paying court-ordered child support and providing health insurance for your children.  I continue to be amazed and shocked by these deadbeat dads who think they can get away with everything.  This piece of garbage below actually claimed he was dead to get out of paying child support.  Seriously?  Freaking dead?  Read the full article here. Deadbeat dad who "died" to get out of paying child support.  Luckily, it did not work, and he was forced to pay $10,000 all at once and still went to jail.  Of course, all he had to do was pay the money when it was due but instead he decided not to and he had his family bail him out and pay up the $10,000.  He deserves to go to jail.

My advice for all you deadbeat dads who think you are so clever and doing what ever it takes to get out of paying child support, you are not fooling anyone and your children are suffering because of you.  Get your act together and do what is right or suffer the consequences.

I wonder what would happen if the moms with custody just up and quit their jobs or claimed they were dead.  Right, they would never do that because the children have to have a dependable, reliable parent to count on.  What a disgrace!  You can run but not forever.

~

Just when you think things are going to start to turn around.

Quitting a job to avoid paying child support really takes things to a whole new level of sinister.

The lengths that some people will go to get out of their responsibilities speaks volumes about their moral compass or lack therefore of one rather.

It is sickening to think that a man would do this to his own children.

Nothing says I love you kids more than denying them support for basic necessities!

Just doing a little research and discovered...........

that on average, it costs about $13,000 a year to raise a kid!  Multiple that by two and you are up to $26,000 a year!

That is a lot of money especially for a single mom to come up with year after year without government assistance and/or child support on a consistent basis.

A lot of money indeed!  But they are 100% worth it!

~

Seems easy enough to understand but some people just don't get it!